FELL IN LOVE

I'm uncertain, uncertain of the future.
Unwilling to admit it to myself,
The tragedy that I'm pursuing.
It creeps me, creeps me daily of the fears.
Fears only known to me.
Fear of the unknown.

My name has changed to what if.
WHAT IF it never happens.
The events rewinds itself in my head.
The little nothings are the only comfort that soothes my mind.

Like a cocktail juice, I have mixed feelings but all brings about the one true fact of taste and delight.
Delight that only I can attest and approve.
Most of the time I feel like quitting,
In fact come to think of it, i have quit a couple of times only to embark again seconds later.
This is like a race with a prize, I am not the fastest but I still want the medal.

Take a good look at me, don't I deserve it?
I think I do but what do u think?
Is it just an illusion?? Or I'm I hallucinating??
I need to know.
Yes, I need to know.

I can not see nor touch but I can feel it.
My bones respond too.
To the unexplainable yet sensational attachment
The emptiness is real driving me all lonely
Curious to know more of you
To feel you, spend time with you, cry when with you
I want to share my life with you.
Affirm me that you are mine and I am yours.
Seal it.

I want to know if we are in a relationship, if yes, what kind of relationship it is, I want to know.
Have I annoyed you cause its been awhile since you said something, concerning us
It's very worrying.
Have I done it again????
Grieved you I mean. Have I?
You have always known me to be a curious one.
So please answer me.

I really cannot tell what's up.
You in a better position to tell it to me.
I stand to be corrected and rebuked also.
I have denied for a while that I miss you
I miss how you tell me I'm beautiful even when I  don't see it.
How you look at me and listen to me even when I make no sense.
How you smile and congratulate me even when i have achieved little.
I miss you

I'm not at peace rather in pieces.
Pieces of a broken mirror and doubt.
Doubt that you might not answer my plea
How can I reach you again??
Is it just through faith
Cause my faith might be fading out.
Should I dye it again?
I need faith to live again.
To trust again
To walk again
To walk in love.

I want you to hold my hand
Always tell me you love me
To love me forever.
I denied it before but I deny it no longer.
Deny the fact that I am indeed attached to you.
You part of me for you have instilled in me components that only us two can talk of.

I declare that I want you.
Do not hide your face on me.
I can not deny my feelings any more.
I want you,
I want you.

Love you all

Imelda